Sometimes the Signs Are There, but I’m Not Listening

UGGG Sometimes the signs are ALL right there in front of me and I just wasn’t listening (and sometimes sadly am still not).  Seriously, What Is Up With That??  I’m taking an inventory of my life and assessing what’s REALLY been happening over the last 3 years.  Three years ago, I invested in myself and joined a year-long mastermind.  So I want to take a look, a little inventory, and reflect on how I’ve changed, grown and opened up.

Three years ago… Where was I?  Who was I?  What did I want? What were my fears?  AND most importantly what did I miss along the way?

“Where was I?” 

Three years ago, I was working full-time, taking a break from my unsuccessful life coaching business and back consulting.  Three years ago, a dear friend, diagnosed with cancer, and his mother moved into my home.  I had two new people living with me and a few new dynamics as well.  A mom/son relationship.  A family from another country, the UK (go Crawley Soccer).  Two new roommates and Cancer.  It was a lot.  AND I was back in my corporate career. I knew my corporate career was not where I was meant to be. I knew in my heart there was more in my life I was meant to do and I knew it was time to do something about it. If not now, then when?  Was I going to wait yet another year? There was something igniting about a friend being diagnosed with cancer that gave me a little kick in the butt.  There was a mentor I knew intuitively I was meant to learn from I knew it was time to step up. So I decided to head down to San Diego to a live event.  It was 100% on intuition that I said YES to the mastermind Lisa Sasevich invited me to join.  I was terrified, yet I KNEW in my heart if I didn’t do this I would be worse off then if I didn’t do it.  Choose your regrets, right? So I said YES. (I’ll go into more depth in my next blog regarding listening to your intuition).

“Who was I?” 

A girl with a dream.  A BIG PHAT DREAM!  A girl who knew in her heart her purpose was BIG and who needed to get out of her own way and move forward. I was a girl who wanted to step into her greatness and show up as her BEST SELF.  The mastermind totally allowed me to do this.  Everyone, and I mean everyone, in the group saw the best in me and they held me to those standards.  It was intoxicating, liberating and addicting.  I liked this newly discovered “best of me”.

“What did I want?” 

I wanted fame, fortune and fun.  I wanted to build a financially successful business.  I wanted to leave my corporate consulting career.  I wanted to feel comfortable in my own skin. Confidently pursuing my dreams.  Being the best of me ALL THE TIME.  I wanted it so badly!!!!  But….

“What were my fears?” 

OMG The fears… the paralyzing fears.  The fear of being discovered, of being the best of me, of being rejected by friends and family, fear of falling flat on my face, the fear of failing miserably…   the fear of this BIG PHAT DREAM not working out and me having to go back to my miserable cubical career – OUCH!  I only saw my life in two ways… Living my dream OR Living a miserable depressing existence.  There was no grey area.

“What did I miss along the way?” 

Ummm a whole hell of a lot!!!  I was so into my fears, my less than, my not deserving and my biggest fear of shining in my true light, my true self.  I missed that I had opened my home and heart to friends, who became family, and the beauty of helping them have a place to live while they went through their most difficult time in life.  (RIP my dear friend Mike Ryan, love you buddy and am grateful that I still feel you in my world).  I missed that I stepped up and invested in myself.  I trusted my intuition 100% and have NEVER regretted the time or money I spent on myself in the mastermind.  I didn’t notice how much my intuition was growing.  I didn’t notice that my connection with the Universe was transitioning into an intimate relationship with Source whom I refer to as God.  I missed that I was healing my relationship with myself, my family and my exes.  I missed that I was taking 100% responsibility for my life.  EVERYTHING in it I owned.  I didn’t notice that I was continuously facing my fears, taking chances and opening my heart to new ways of thinking.  I became the host of Raving Fan Radio which grew a listenership by 3,000 each month.  It’s now at over 60,000.  I missed that I had the courage to leave my corporate contact.  I missed that I was helping others along the way.  I wrote an eBook, blogs and articles.  Created my website, made offers and started writing, speaking and mentoring people.  I was touching people’s lives just by being me.  I could easily see where people where hiding but didn’t give myself permission to share what I saw.  I doubted my intuition and missed that it was spot on!

I was so wrapped up in pursing the DREAM that I wasn’t noticing the grey area; I wasn’t noticing that there were aspects of my DREAM that I was doing every single day!  The BIG PHAT DREAM was to be speaking, writing and helping people step into their true self and love themselves.  Help women of the world HEAL.  Along the path I didn’t notice that every little thing I was doing was a step in the right direction, one more step closer to truly living my dream.

It’s been very recent that I can honestly say I now live my purpose and give myself FULL permission to receive ALL the glory, love & light that is meant to come my way.  I give myself permission to rise above and be a Champion to Feminine Leaders.  To help others step up into their true potential, as a leader, in order to serve and help others with their OWN BIG PHAT DREAM!  I now feel like a woman.  I feel confident and comfortable in my own skin.  Fully embracing this journey and continue to bravely face my fears and courageously step-up in a new and even bigger way.

It amazes me how much I missed along the way, the credit I refused to give myself.  The  love I held at bay.  The lack of acknowledgement of the gifts others saw in me.  It took some time, but as soon as I gave myself permission to receive my true purpose – my life changed into a beautiful canvas of expression.  So I ask you… What are you missing?  What are you not giving yourself credit for?  AND in order to live this BIG PHAT DREAM of yours….  Who do you need permission from?

Welcome to Crazy Town!!

When us ladies meet a new man, a potential love or new prospect we enter into a new space…. it’s called Crazy Town!  It really doesn’t matter if we are 12, 24 or 40 it just happens.  We walk right in.  It does not matter how old we get, there is something that awakens within us that knocks us right off our rocker and right on in.  As I’ve matured I’ve embraced Crazy Town and have begun to appreciate the fun it brings into my life.  Recently I was talking with a dear friend.  Both of LittleGirlHeartus recently experiencing Crazy Town and we began to ponder, why do we do it?  Why do we go to CRAZY TOWN?

For those of you that don’t know where or what Crazy Town is I’m going to do my best to explain what it is, why it is and what it’s REALLY all about.

Crazy Town is the place we enter the moment we know we like a man.  You know what I’m talking about.  It’s the moment you find yourself looking at your phone every 2-5 minutes to see if he’s text you, called you, left you a Facebook message or has communicated to you in any other electronic communication.  Did he see my post? Like my picture?  The question underneath it all: “Is he thinking of me?”.   Most men might not know this but we want your attention, we crave it.  We want it all the time.  We want the connection.  The anticipation of you contacting us is intoxicating.  We enter into Crazy Town sometimes knowingly, sometimes unexpectedly, but at some point we realize we are there.  Right in the damn middle of it!!  Thinking about you, fantasizing about you…

The next time you’ll call, what will we talk about, what you’ll say, when you’ll call.  Will you ask me out again? What will I wear?  When will we kiss? Where? Will it be a good kiss?  Will we have sex? Will you want to have sex with me? Will it be good?  When will we go on vacation?  To a friend’s wedding?  Will you become my boyfriend?  WHAT WILL HAPPEN???   The ideas are non-stop in our heads, all the possibilities.  It truly is nutty town, craziness and it’s also the BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD!

To have a crush on a man, like we did when we were 12 and fell in love for the first time.  Your heart quickens, your palms sweat, you giggle at the thought of him, like really giggle because he said hi to you. The feelings inside don’t really change as you age, you just begin to have a better understanding of how to deal with them and how to more maturely interact with a man you are crushing on.

CrazyOrLovePNGBut the big question I hear is WHY do we go there?  WHY do we enter Crazy Town?  I know men think we are crazy (because frankly sometimes yes we can be).  Our guy friends see us turn form a mature, independent woman into a gushing school girl with cartoon hearts bulging out her eyes and pulsating with anticipation as we talk about our new crush.  Reading into every little thing he says and does.  What his text REALLY means?  What does he REALLY want?

So YES we go there, we go NUTS and we walk right into CRAZY TOWN and invite all our girlfriends to come along with us to watch us in our glory of craziness and bask in our new found potential love.

Men I’m hear to explain to you WHY!  Why we do what we do… you might not actually care but I hope you do because it’s a compliment.  We do go to Crazy Town because you bring us there…

We are the feminine.  The earthly creatures that ache to be seen, loved and accepted for who we are.  Our entire lives we are told how to behave, what we are doing wrong and how to make men like us.  We are told what’s wrong with us and why we aren’t enough or don’t measure up.  Media tells us we are too fat, too thin, too loud.  We are constantly told how to be a “lady”.

Hold your head up, stand up straight, hold your shoulders back, cross your legs, point your toes, elbows off the table, don’t be loud, don’t scream, don’t cry, stop whining. We are told we can do anything a boy can do….  but then we are told girls don’t play hockey, girls don’t play football… girls DON’T DO THAT (whatever that may be).  A lady never burps in public, ladies don’t fart, girls aren’t supposed to like sex (only whores do).  We hide our periods, we hide or bodies, we hide from ourselves.

As we get older we realize we are pushing men away with our independence and we are told we are being masculine, we are taught how to get back to our core feminine, how to honor the masculine, how to appreciate chivalry and invite the pursuit.  Let the guy ask you out, don’t sleep with him on the first date, wait 3 months before you have sex.  Kiss him on the first date as a “thank you” for dinner…. even if you don’t want to.  Don’t lead him on.

Over and over again we are told what to do and every time it’s something different then what we were doing before.  We are constantly gathering information, correcting behavior and learning from our mistakes.  It’s EXHAUSTING as you can see!

So why is Crazy Town so much fun?  And why is it important for us to give ourselves permission to go there…  Because for a short period of time we can forget about EVERYTHING we’ve been told.  We can forget about all the things that we are told we are not doing and we can just BE.  We can BE in-love with the idea of a man liking us.

The anticipation of him truly seeing ME for who I am and loving me for it.  The hope that he will see the good, the bad and the ugly within me and love me anyway.  That I’ll be seen at a depth I have never experienced.  That a MAN will want ME!

CoupleLoveLightIt awakens a dormant feeling in the depths of our hearts that connects us to our body, to the little girl inside that dreams of her Night in Shining armor.  There is warmth in our chest and an ache in our heart that awakens the sleeping giant within us.  Our true feminine is awakened and we feel open, receiving and loving.  We feel connected to the Earth, to Nature and to the Universe.  We feel more at ease, relaxed and able to let all the things we attempt to control melt away.  The possibility of how this new crush may make us feel long-term is addicting.

So we go there.  We look at our phones, we read your Facebook profile, we replay your voice messages and if anyone saw us in the privacy of our bedroom… you’d see a grown woman jump up and down and squeal with delight when your name shows up on our screen.

For the ladies, know when you are in Crazy Town.  Know he has no idea how much you are thinking of him.  Enjoy the feelings and fantasy and what it awakens within you.  Realize you are in Crazy Town and know that most of what you are experiencing are the projections of who you want him to be.

CrazyTown

Accept himfor who he is and how he’s treating you.  Enjoy the connection you feel with the divine feminine and allow yourself to relax, open and love.  Love yourself unconditionally and feed your soul with what you feel.  Only time will tell if this new crush will turn into a long term love.  Give yourself permission to visit Crazy Town but don’t make it a habit of living there.

For the men please be patient with us! Please don’t be offended or turned off
when we want to see you…  You’ve awakened a feeling in us that has been asleep for quite some time.    You make us feel a way inside that no meditation, spiritual awaken, self pleasuring or time with our best girlfriends can do.  It’s something we can only feel when the YING & YANG begin to dance.  We enter into Crazy Town because it feels SO DAMN GOOD to like you!!

I enjoyed this topic so much I shared it on Raving Fan Radio, you can listen to the show by clicking on the iTunes link: iTunes10

Who Do You Need Permission From?

Let’s face it ladies, we think, feel and DO things differently then other people.  We know in our hearts we have a BIG message to share.  We are women leading the paradigm shift of how women view themselves and their role in this world.

In order to do this we need to give ourselves permission to receive ALL that comes along with this.  We are powerful beings and at a SOUL LEVEL we are compelled to answer the calling.  Something deep inside of us is driving us to live our purpose, be our BIGGEST self and to show up as a feminine leader.

And this is FREAKIN scary!!!

Our light is what frightens us the most…. I’m on a mission to change that.  I want us to delight and celebrate in our LIGHT.  I want us to come back home to our truths, our feminine strengths and to be honored, respected and sought after for our beliefs, brains & our beauty.  We are here to make a difference.

So why IS it scary to move into our power?  To follow the calling? To live a life on purpose?  Why are we fearful to shine? to soar? to share?

The reason is because we’ve not yet given ourselves permission to do so.  Join Melissa Risdon as she leads Permission Bootcamp™  intensive to teach you how to own your power, step into your BIGGEST self and live the life you know you are meant to live!

 

Click here to find out about Melissa Risdon Permission Bootcamp™  

 

Melissa_smallMelissa Risdon is an international speaker and Internet radio host. Each week Raving Fan Radio™ reaches over 70,000 loyal listeners. Known as the Champion to Feminine Leaders, Melissa helps women dare to live the life of their dreams. She is the owner of Permission to Receive™ and is on a mission to help heart-centered entrepreneurs live a life on purpose. Melissa’s “heart of gold” and passion is felt by her listeners and clients. Melissa had a successful career in Corporate America before retiring and following her internal guidance and passion. Melissa has had to learn how to trust herself and her intuition.  She now allows herself to receive all the blessings that come her way.

Turn your Inner Critic into your Raving Fan and Get Writing

Imagine you are driving in your car and a moment of inspiration hits! You get a crystal clear idea of what to write. You imagine yourself fiercely typing away and having the words effortlessly pour out your finger tips…. You KNOW what you are going to say and you KNOW it’s going to be GREAT! You continue on your drive with the intention of sitting down at your computer as soon as you arrive home.

You’ve been home for two hours. You’ve procrastinated enough. Finally you sit at your desk. You place your fingers on the keyboard and………………. NOTHING! NOTHING comes out of your finger tips! Defeated again… the idea is stupid, no one will get it!

Your Inner Critic appears – right on cue:

“What am I going to write?”
“No one is going to read this.”
“This is so HARD!! ”
“Why don’t the words come out?”
“I’m NEVER going to finish this.”

How often does this happen? You sit down with your “inspiration” and nothing comes out. You want to be an expert in your field, not an expert in criticizing anything and everything about yourself, what you write or do not write. The criticism goes on and on and on…

BUT WAIT… You really do want to write. You have something important to share. This IS what you are passionate about! This IS what you WANT to do….. then WHY is it so difficult?

The reason is actually quite simple. Your INNER CRITIC has his/her hands on you…. and your Inner Critic is keeping you from writing! “WHY?” You ask. Here’s the quick answer: your Inner Critic is doing their job! Your Inner Critic is doing a PHENOMENAL job at criticizing you and your actions. This is what your Inner Critic was designed to do.

How might your writing be different if your Inner Critic transformed into your RAVING WRITING FAN?
Just imagine, you’ll be able to: get your inner thoughts out into the world easily, trust your writing is great, commit and meet your deadlines – you know you can write, so you just do it and enjoy it.

Would you like to make that happen right now? Below are 5 secrets that will help your Inner Critic Turn into Your Raving Writing Fan……

1) Thank your Inner Critic for doing a PHENOMENAL job.

Thank your Inner Critic for being critical, for pointing out when it’s not perfect, for knowing when to throw something away. You can say it in your head, you can say it out loud…… thank your Inner Critic for doing a really great job!

2) Appreciate your Inner Critic for doing its job for ALL of these years.

All these years your Inner Critic has been criticizing you, but you are successful. You have a great job, you are passionate about your teachings. Your Inner Critic has HELPED you get to where you are! Appreciate how far you’ve come with the help of your Inner Critic.

3) Understand that the positive intent behind your Inner Critic’s behavior is to keep you safe:

a. Are you afraid it won’t be PERFECT?
b. Is your message too big?
c. Is it scary to be vulnerable with people?
d. Are you afraid you’ll be criticized by others?
e. It won’t be good enough?
f. They won’t like it.

Begin to understand the reason why the Inner Critic criticizes to keep you safe, keep you happy and keep you from screwing up. Begin to understand that even though it may not feel like it, your Inner Critic is actually on your side, keeping you safe and protected.

4) TALK to your Inner Critic, Give a voice to your Inner Critic and LISTEN to what it has to say:

a. What is your Inner Critics name?
b. When was your Inner Critic created?
c. Does your Inner Critic know why it was created?
d. What does your Inner Critic want for you?

Next time you sit down at your computer and begin to write and nothing comes out… TALK to your inner critic. Get curious and give your Inner Critic a voice!

5) Find out what conditions your Inner Critic may need to be able to support you.

What needs to happen in order for your Inner Critic to support your writing process? Do you need to write at the same time every day? Do you need to journal and talk to your Inner Critic for 10 minutes before you write your next chapter? Does your Inner Critic need a specific time line? Discover what rules or conditions your Inner Critic must have met to support you.

My Inner Critic’s name is Stacy. Here’s what she had to say when I was writing this article for you:

Melissa: Stacy I really feel you holding me back, what is going on?

Inner Critic Stacy: Well for one this is too much responsibility, too may people are going to read this. I can’t have you putting yourself out there like that.

Melissa: You know this is important to me, is there anything that you need to feel comfortable with me writing this article?

Inner Critic Stacy: Yeah for sure, I need you to write it all out, then I need you to clean it up, make it GREAT (I’ll help) then you need to have 3 people read it and give feedback BEFORE you can hand it in!

Melissa: That’s great, anything else?

Inner Critic Stacy: YES you need to have this completed three weeks before it is due!

Melissa: Okay I will agree to that.

Inner Critic Stacy: Okay then I’m okay if we start writing.

The key is to build a relationship with your Inner Critic. Your Inner Critic is here to serve you, keep you save, happy and whole. Your Inner Critic is protective and most likely was created when you were a young child. The way it protects you now may no longer serve you and your relationship may need to change. Turning your Inner Critic into your raving fan is a process. Like any successful healthy relationship you must put effort, patience and love into it. Instead of beating up your Inner Critic start praising and appreciating what they do for you.

You never know what might flow out of your finger tips.

If you’d like to learn more about you and your inner critic and how you Turn Your Inner Critic Into Your Raving Fan check out more information at www.MelissaRisdon.com you can also visit www.MelissaRisdonFan.com.

Now you know the difference it will make to have your POWERFUL Inner Critic as your Raving Writing Fan – what are you going to do now – write?

You Only Need To Climb, One Step At A Time…

The last couple of months have been a HUGE transition for me and I’ve realized that I only need to move one step at a time forward.  Sometimes it’s a BIG leap of faith – kind of step – forward (like me deciding to move to San Diego) or sometimes it’s a tiny – baby step – forward like taking a deep breath when I am feeling overwhelmed.

When you go through any BIG transition you stretch and grow beyond your current comprehension.  This is usually when your stress gets higher, your overwhelm begins to suffocate you and you might just feel a little bit crazy about everything that’s going on.   Does that at all sound familiar?  I’m guessing you KNOW what I mean!

Well ALL of the above is how I felt over the last few weeks.  Moving out of my home that I’ve been in for almost 12 years.  It AMAZES me how much stuff I have accumulated!  Purging, throwing things away, recycling, donating and giving things away to friends.

Packing, wrapping, taping, labeling… a lot goes into moving and time and time again I found myself stuck, frozen and feeling overwhelmed.  I usually just had to stop, take a big deep breath and find the “next best thing to do” and then that is what I did.

I learned to only concentrate on the one next thing. This all came to a beautiful metaphor last week as I climbed up Ralston Trail in South Lake Tahoe, CA.  A 3+ hour hike UP HILL, in dust, rocks and a very vertical slant.  I would stop, catch my breath and again put one foot in front of the other.  Just one step at a time.

It amazes me that when you are in the middle of the climb, your muscles hurt, you’re out of breath but you have an “idea” of what’s at the end.  So you choose to continue to climb.  There were 10 of us on the hike. Some choose to stop and not continue. I chose to continue, to put one foot in front of the other and climb.  I had no idea what to expect… accept I knew in my HEART the climb, the burning in my calves, the dust in my lungs was ALL worth it.

When I arrived at the top.  I forgot about the pain in my thighs, the burning in my calves, the shortness of breath.  ALL I could see wasTahoeME the beauty and magnificence that surrounded me.  A top a beautiful peak overlooking all of Lake Tahoe.  I had ARRIVED.  Every step had been worth it.  EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

It was a beautiful metaphor for EVERYTHING I was experiencing in life.  When you feel you can’t go on, when you are overwhelmed, out of breath and you may be in pain…

I’ll give you the advice I’ve learned.  Just STOP!  Take a breath and take just one more step forward.  You don’t know when the last step forward will be… but let me tell you IT IS SO WORTH IT.

Much love to you in continuing to move forward, one step BIG or small at a time.

Just one more step,

Melissa_Signature