Answering My Calling…

UGG answering my calling is so freaking scary.  I recently heard that you would not receive a calling if you did not have the ability to achieve it.  Well hell, every single freakin fear has come up!

It’s scary to follow your purpose and pursue your dreams and preserver.  But ironically that is exactly what I’ve been doing little by little, every step of the way.  Since my late 20’s I’ve known that there was something more to life but I didn’t let myself explore it until after my divorce when I hit rock bottom.

Like lying on the bathroom floor crying and realizing that everything in my life I had been living for was over and my life was a terrifying blank canvas for me to color in.  So I persevered, I moved forward one day at a time.  I began to follow the small flicker of light that was beaconing me forward to discover what was this feeling of “something more” I was meant to be doing.

Through therapy, personal development, life coaching… then taking a leap of faith quitting my successful corporate career to start my own business as a life coach.  Which let me to an San Francisco International Coaching Federation chapter meeting where I met Jeffrey VanDyk who was doing purpose work and helping people who were aching to find their purpose.  That was me and so we began a professional and deeply personal relationship.  Jeffrey helped me get a clear understanding of my purpose and helped me dive deeper into my life’s work.  One of many hero’s in my life.

Flash forward years later to today and he is now working at Big Vision Business and offering a free video series about answering your Big Calling.  For those of us that have a calling within us then you understand the paralyzing fears that can creep into our brains in the darkness of the night, you feel the courage it takes to face fears and you want help getting there.

Jeffrey personal provide this help for me years ago.  As he’s grown and expanded and has more deeply moved into his greater purpose he has evolved and expanded and is now helping people answer their next level calling.

I’ve watched the series and it speaks to me still as I grow & expand into my next level calling.  Take a look here and give yourself permission to receive guidance during your exploration of answering your next level calling.

Those deep fears I had years ago of feeling lost, abandoned and empty have helped feed my heart to be full of love, acceptance and pride for myself.  I persevered through my fears and have landed safely on my feet living a life I love.

Every little step counts…

Every little step counts… on the road to living your dreams.  On the eve of a dream of mine coming true I’m in deep reflection on the journey that it’s taken to arrive at this moment in time.  I can’t say it was an easy journey but I can say now that I have arrived into the present of this dream, it was worth every single second on the road of pursing.

Next weekend, Saturday, April 5, 2014 I will be speaking on a stage to a large audience in Scottsdale, Arizona, at an event calledSteppingStones Imagination IQ. This dream has been long in the making.  As I reflect back on the stepping stones of life lessons I have learned along the way… I feel in deep gratitude that I listened to the internal calling that stirred in my belly so many years ago.

How exactly did this all start?  It started from hitting the bottom.  Only then was I able to move forward.  After my divorce I went through a period of time that was very dark.  I was depressed, was lost and felt alone in a world I no longer knew.  It was a scary place to be, because the truth was, I had no idea who I was.  What I wanted in life.  Or what next step to take.  It was a deep soul searching experience that birthed a vision of pursuing a purpose driving life.  The life I knew I was meant to live.  One of helping women speak their truth, stand in their power and be true leaders.  My mission began as wanting to help heal the women of the world.  And by helping “heal” the women of the world I knew that it started with me.

SpeakYourTruthSo began an amazing journey of self realization, self discovery and giving myself permission to truly be me.  The changes externally were subtle.  The changes internally were life altering.  I took ownership and responsibility of all relationship in my life.  I began a process of forgiveness, speaking my truth, sharing my boundaries, standing in my power, healing my hurts and taking responsibility of my feelings.  I stopped blaming everyone else in my life and began listening to my intuition.  I followed the road my dream life lead me on and now as I sit in a place of reflection, only now can I see the purposeful journey that I have been on.

One moment sticks out in my memory.  I was at an event and my life’s vision was just beginning to come into focus.  I knew I wanted to become a powerful speaker that changed people’s lives.  I knew I wanted to be an author.  I knew I was not yet ready and that bothered me.  I wasn’t sure what I needed to do to change that.  As I listened to the speaker I began to realize that being at this event was purposeful in my life.  As the speaker exited the stage, as we applauded and the music started blaring.  As I clapped my hands to the beat, a smile began to emerge on my lips.  I understood very clearly in that moment that if I was going to become a powerful speaker that I first needed to heal all of myself.  I needed first to live through all the steps necessary to speak from a powerful & knowledgeable place.  As I danced in the audience, my energy began to rise because I knew this moment was just as significant as the moment I would some day walk out on stage was going to be.  I knew in my heart that what I was learning at this event was one magical step in the journey to pursuing my dream.  I was present in the moment and it was surreal.

Often we can not see the purpose in our journey until we connect the dots going backwards.  I felt very lucky to experience suchHumbleWoman deep presence in a moment that I knew was just one of many on the road I was choosing to walk to pursuing a life of purpose.

As April 5th approaches I am in deep gratitude at all I have accomplished.  Proud of the woman I have become and deeply humbled by the gifts I am beginning to bring to the world.  It took awhile to get here and every step along the way has been oh so worth it.


I share this with you because no matter where you are at in your life, know that on some level what you are experiencing is purposeful.  It may be a life lesson that you are meant to learn, it may be an experience you are meant to live through or it may be a confirmation that you are definitely on the right path.

No matter where you are at, know that every step counts.  Even the ones that make you feel that you have stepped off the path of your purpose.  Know that all you need to do is give yourself permission to get right back on the path that will best serve you in living the life you know you are meant to live.